Tuesday, 12 August 2014

PRESENCE OF FACIAL HAIR DOESN’T MAKE YOU A MAN Firm Feminist by Daisy Waitherero Wambua


Men love a one night stand girl, get together girl and what the hell girl. But guess what so do women, at least some women. The male species are allergic to commitment, responsibilities, settling down and the ultimate word ‘wife’. And no antihistamine can reverse this hypersensitiveness. A man’s worth nowadays is measured by the number of women he has brought to bed or ‘hit’ as they like to refer to it.
The one night stand girl. She is simply the random girl in the club or a house party that his alcohol content convinced him that she is Nikki Minaj. Shock awaits him as he wakes up in the morning as she is more masculine than he is. He can even call her bro.
Key problem; alcohol percentage in the body had reached 72% and one more drop its 73% therefore thinking capacity and visual capability is 0% or almost void. Solution; Jesus changed water into wine but where in the Bible does it say that He drank the whole wine? Men don’t take another shot if you start thinking that you can perform miracles.
Get together girl. She is the girl who you get together with when you evidently get together. No calls, no sext, no promises, no halos and no names. You happen to be in the same event as her, or perhaps a house warming or a book study (if they still exist). Wherever you bump into each other, she is the one to tend to your needs. She is the consistent one night stand. Everything is anonymous and mysterious like the witnesses at ICC.
Key problem; you are emotionally detached and so is she. Be careful one day she will dump a baby on your doorstep, and you still won’t have her number, her address or her name. Solution; don’t get her knocked up because you will have a baby without a baby mama.
What the hell girl. She is there as a friend but she gives more than friendship. People call them Friends with Benefits but I think that’s too much credit. She gives benefits alright but don’t be tempted to think you are the only one. She just wants a boyfriend and she has no problem playing with her toy until she finds one. Key Problem; trust issues served with fear of STDs that come from having multiple women, I can’t blame this man. Everyone should be afraid of AIDs and herpes (in that order). Though having one woman doesn’t secure your health.
Solution; never put friendship and bedroom in the same sentence. It spells out disaster. One of you will take it serious and break rule one (don’t fall in love) and that’s when you create a crazy woman. My advice is don’t you dare start it because she will finish you. Literally.
A man must first find himself, before he finds his woman or he will damage whatever woman he comes in contact with along the way. The second word in this paragraph holds a lot of weight. Men, it’s time to refuse the name dog and own a better title. At this pace you are creating a lot of female dogs that are distasteful to my species.