Saturday, 13 June 2015
THE GLORY OF SINGLE PARENTHOOD by Daisy Waitherero Wambua
Being raised by a single parent makes us a lot of things and one of them can never be weak. It gives a certain balance of grit and encouragement that settles well when one grows or becomes an adult. A social scientist insisted that one raised by a single mother whether rich or poor will tend to end up in jail, as a pregnant teen or a drug junkie, however this is not the case in contemporary Kenya. Living in era where deadbeat fathers and single mothers outweigh the number of couples, it goes against the odds to have a nuclear family.
In every résumé; age: 45, status; Head of the family, nationality; Depends on where I am. Two decades have already passed, she is surprising herself with cake as a desert this evening. It’s her anniversary, more an anniversary of singlehood. Despite she championed in raising four children singlehandedly. In marital circles, two decades is an achievement of sharing toothbrushes, confusing towels, respecting each other’s sides of the bed and being asked where the socks are but in un-marital circle, it’s more of failure of the prior.
Research show children do better in terms of behavior, grades and socially in homes that have a single mother than a single fathers household. This data however is non-essential and downright bogus as one’s upbringing and outcome has nothing to do with the number of guardians sleeping down the hall. However there is a strain whereby there is only one parent under one roof, the same strain can also be a perk.
There is beauty in every struggle, refinement in every strain and constant happiness in emerging champion in the impediments. Major milestone is whether the parent is able to provide financially. Put food on the table, clothes on their back, walls around and a roof on top and will they graduate school or not? Money is not everything nonetheless, support, love and attention carry as much importance as the former. Money won’t instill good morals, will not prevent pregnancy and it will certainly not keep them in front of bars. Though It may bail them out of jail.
The misconception that families with both parents have twice the love, twice the attention and twice the financial security is faux. A survey of children under the influence coming from a nuclear family was 4.3% and that of single parenthood is 5.7%. A difference of 1.4% is definitely not a reflection of the case study. Growing up in a family of a single parent, values such as independence, diligence and humility will be impacted by default. Don’t get me wrong, children from two-parent families can develop these values from other situations. There is power in the negative, I have witnessed it first hand and I took it positively.
All children hailing from a single-parent family, you are not shortchanged just because you are shorthanded.