Wednesday, 31 December 2014

FORGIVE AND/OR/PERHAPS FORGET by Daisy Waitherero Wambua

I finally cracked this nut.I hope. It was not part of my new year's resolution bucket list,not that i have one but am glad i almost resolved it. If you have a trail of people who have crossed your line, pushed buttons that you didnt think you had and you would rather play russian roulette with,with a fully loaded gun(say no to violence and say yes to accidents kind of scenario) then this is a read that you should follow word by word of course noting the bracketed phrases too.

Main dispute lying where God created us as social beings meaning we got nothing but each other unless you are Donald J Trump then you got money,employees and an island. You cant do without me and i cant live without you applies to the rest of us: its a soap opera! So when we are at loggerheads we have a problem.The comfort of forgiving is that you free the offender's conscience and the luxury of forgetting is that you let your conscience free. You can forgive all you want but if you wont forget then forgiving is nothing but a chicken on the run.

With people coming from different ethnic,social,economical and religious backgrounds,only one thing can happen.....war. With such a complex nature existing and a murky image of who is who and what they appreciate or regard as offensive then the line of "natukae na undugu" in the national anthem doesnt apply. We will cross paths,we will bite scratch and harm. According to culture,nothing is wrong or right,its the difference of culture that stirs up emotions.

In a normal Kenyan society, we practice the act of annoying and later apologising in every hap. You step on someone's shoe,you apologise,you steal somebody's pants,you apologise, you rob a bank, you apologise while in jail, you steal somebody's girlfriend,uuummm...... i dont know if you should apologise for this one or you shouldnt. But you get the idea: the feeling of regret and remorsefulness is quite contagious and imposing.
What happens after an apology is the oxygen to the air. Literally. You stepped on my shoes; i smile and say its okay,steal my pants;i didnt even notice though there is only one pair of that make in the region,rob a bank; i got my money insured so ill let it pass,unfortunately you cant pass prison, stole my girl;well i am not quite certain but in most scenarios you would get punched then forgiven after buying beer.

If somebody has ever got you mad to a level that you wished you would pick the world up and drop it on their head, if you have fantasised mutiple times of how that annoying conversation should have gone or would have gone, if asked whether you have a cordial relationship with that person and you still flinch before saying yes, if you still have a change of mood each time they mistakenly pop up in your thoughts.......YOU HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN

You will continously relive that incident you had with them over and over again until your tape scratches: code word for you need a psychologist. It will be like somebody cutting your throat a million times and you heal right after. It makes you stuck in a time capsule, something that happened in 2003 follows you to 2015,mistakes that somebody made become your budden and it never stops until you forget.

With that said, i dont mean you get on a drinking spree with an aim of having a blurry memory. I have one rule: Dont Vodka when angry or distressed. Try actual release of pain by dealing with it to a point where you forget. When you reach that point please do share the secret because i have had a hard time when i try going through the "dont think about it again" part. The assignment we were given an hour ago escapes my mind easily but i do remember on 11:50:24 on Friday 7th March 2014, weather: cold as teachers to TSC, i lent you my rent money. Forgive you man for you have sinned.

Therefore, the lad that borrowed me rent money and still hasnt paid,i forget you for now. (Smiles)