Friday, 5 December 2014

ACT LIKE A GIRLFRIEND BUT THINK LIKE A WIFE by Daisy Waitherero Wambua

Kenyans have decided to escalate a culture that tarnishes the holy matrimony. Nowadays we embrace come-we-stay, series of baby mama’s and chains of ‘situationships’. I can guarantee that the only two people who care about love and marriage are Alonso and Yvan from ‘Tujuane’. Forgive me for the spellings; foreign names do not fall anywhere in my pro list. There will come a time whereby marriages will be completely eradicated and those who are married will be quarantined.

In the past, the only reason why a proper lady would be in a come-we- stay kind of agreement is when the man is not able to pay the dowry. And in this case, the man would be given a duration to pay up or he would be compelled to give her up. In our generation, ladies seem to enjoy being wives; cleaning his house, washing his clothes, cooking for him; running errands for him. At this pace we would be paying the dowry. Today the only difference between girlfriends and house helps is that girlfriends are allowed to sleep on his bed overnight.

Women need to start requiring men to marry them. You are showing him how good of a wife you will be but two years down the line you discover he wanted your sister to say ‘I DO’. You find another man who is a cup of hot chocolate and instantly you feel obligated to do your wifely duties. A couple of years later you realize he only deals with women whose office is not a kitchen and tools are not mops and Axion.

You have wasted six years of your life being married yet you don’t have a rock on your finger, a certificate in your room, babies with a father and your career is still stuck in between two steps forward and six steps back. And here you are condemning the ladies in Koinange for sleeping with men for money. Don’t misquote me I do not support body hawking. But the one in Koinange gets her money from your ‘husband to be’ without being his house help and even 'advances' her career while at it.

Men stop giving her the label ‘wife’ when you both know you are living in sin. You probably got a ‘wife’, babe 1, babe 2, bae, le bae and a whole lorry of women with titles that don’t add up. Ladies don’t get it twisted; if he is anything like Kimaiyo please do yourself a favor and leave. If he says ‘There were five females but four of them were male’ dear girlfriend please run, ‘I wasn’t able to come with my personal car because I didn’t have bus fare ’ sweetheart you must run, ‘I was at the club but I didn’t enter because there weren’t any drinks on the shelves’ honey please kill him then commit suicide.

If you are just his girlfriend and you wake up at three in the morning to open up for him, remove his shoes and dust them, hold his tie while he pukes,wash his face and warm his supper then you are his girlfriend doubling up as his house help, his watchman and to some extent you are a gym trainer; too much lifting of weights. Men might be few in the world but if it was meant to be, you will find him; no need to be a laundry machine and a dish washer