Tuesday, 19 May 2015

IS HE A MAN OR A WOMAN? by Daisy Waitherero Wambua



Most women look for partners in life keeping in mind the three rules; must be tall, must be handsome and must be paid. The latter was added for no one in this generation wants to be associated with poverty. Right decisions but wrong motives. Focus on what is important like the bank account. Men, they are right in the beginning then swiftly move to the wrong after a couple of minutes. Typical. Don’t right their wrongs unless they write them down for real has become a trend whatever happened to being a man? I wouldn’t even know since I haven’t met one yet. Sigh.

You pay the water bill, lighting bill, rent, transport, service the car, provide the food, provide the roof, provide the warmth, this providence list can go down all the way to Abraham. A woman should never have to take up all expenses if she is accommodating someone resembling a man. In fact she shouldn’t even take up half unless he proposed to her on a mountain loft. Or he got you a Bentley. Neither has nor will ever happen to you, yet you act like Oprah. Provide one more thing in that list and I hate to break it down to you but you are dating yourself. This is a sin. Jesus didn’t die for you to be an ATM. Do not cash out until he cashes in.

Television needs wiring, your telephone sounds like there is an ICC witness at the end of the line, the showerhead keeps falling off, the microwave is like the electronic voter system has never worked and you never hear the doorbell. Sister you are not deaf, blind nor are your nerves malfunctioning. He doesn’t even know where you kept the spanner nor the hammer. You have a baby brother right there and you don’t share blood. Get that DNA done. He is not what he seems to be; that’s Bruce Jenner in the making.

You still carry your luggage to the car, you just started fixing the shelves, you carry his briefcase and start wearing the pants. This is a given; you are two people with estrogen. Clearly he has more than you; no lady is allowed to carry her own bag unless she is Audrey or was it Andrew? If you are already at this stage, you need to stop being gay.