Friday, 12 July 2013

JOB TITLES ANYONE? By Diaz Waitherero

“I want to be a doctor! I want to be an engineer! I want to be a
pilot!” well I want to be rich doing nothing. I was that kid who
believed in the now, yesterday was history and tomorrow was
mystery. Why did guardians and even strangers torture me by
asking all these questions about my future?
All that ran through my mind when I was seven was fries, pizza
and making my mum birthday cards with newspaper. I didn’t
know about my futuristic plans or what I wanted to become. I
didn’t even know I was seven for God’s sake. Every time I was
asked what I wanted to be I said an airhostess and the reaction
was great until I reached eleven. It turns out it’s the same as
being a house help, so technically it’s a plane help. I was so
crushed that I ran out of ideas for the longest while.
Then the architect fever caught me, it was the best fever ever. I
used to answer even before I was asked with my head held high
and my chest higher. I never really wanted to do architecture, I
hated drawing and designing wasn’t and still isn’t my
stronghold. I think the idea of concrete covering my hair wasn’t
my cup of hot chocolate.
So there I was pitching everyone’s hopes high and setting my
goals in mars. After doing some self assessment here and there,
I settled for financial planning. That didn’t last very long, after
two days I discovered that probably numbers won’t bring it
home for me. A couple of days down the line, I took up acting.
By this I mean in front of the mirror kind of thing, this didn’t
work so well since I always ended up staring at a pimple.
Despite that I got a great kick out of it for quite a long while.
Becoming a housewife was my last option, if I am to get
married to a rich husband. I mean who doesn’t want to have a
mansion and a bunch of kids to control just to make them
miserable? A husband who spoils you silly and maids opening
the door to your bathroom? If you ask me I would make the
perfect fit. The hitch was what will I be doing before I get
married? Too bad my mother brought me up to be ambitious
and hard headed so I can neither get married easily nor be
anyone’s housewife.
I still believe I would’ve been an amazing architect, caring a
bunch of building plans, wearing a tight short skirt and holding
my hair up. The sight looks really great but the practical part
not so much. The six years I would spend using a sharpener and
a pencil, the sleepless nights of finishing a project and the
terrible attitude my lecturer might show me would send me off
a cliff.
Spending four years in high school being told to pursue a
relevant career was a torture. Personally I hated relevant
careers; doctor, lawyer, engineer and financial planner. I don’t
want to touch blood, I don’t want to read the law like it will
take me to heaven and I don’t want to count your money! I
mean if I don’t want to do anything then leave me to laze
around until I find something to do.
Even if I had four good years of plain confusion and soul
searching, I knew what I wanted to do after I graduated. That
was going to American idol, get signed by a recording company
and live on my own island. Of course this didn’t work out as I
thought since Simon Cowell doesn’t even know me.
My dreams killed and my hopes crushed and all I can say is
“damn I am going to be poor”. I considered doing all sorts of
courses after high school. As usual they lasted two or three
minutes, the funny part was how enthusiastic I was during the
first minute. Everyone knew of my new career choice and I
swear I could hear them say ‘here she goes again, the next time
shell say she wants to be a midwife.’ So much for a support
system!
My mother is really famous at her work place so when she
decided to have a mother-daughter day at work, I knew all the
conversations will be career-centred. As I presumed, every
single one of her colleague’s wanted to know my grand plan in
life. My grand plan is to stay alive and eat all I can before I kick
the bucket! I am no Chris Kirubi or Mike Sonko for that matter.
It was disastrous since I knew I was going to do Bachelor of
economics and finance but I didn’t know who I wanted to be.
The awkward silence that would follow wasn’t one of my best
moments. Fortunately, I humoured through that period by
saying I wanted to be the president. As it turned out, it wasn’t
as funny as I thought so I just put on one of those ‘did I just say
that’ face and smirk.
After that day, I continuously wondered through courses. Then
one day I woke up and thought God didn’t create everyone to
work! I mean if everyone is working then who is resting? I now
believe that in every ten people, one person was meant to loaf
around and feed off the other nine. If only I was that person!
Fat Joe would be my role model, Obama my chauffer, Trey
Songz my butler and Jayz my brother. That is what I call the
good life. I wouldn’t even be sitting in front of my computer at
two in the morning.
People say you get wiser with age but I don’t exactly agree. It’s
been a couple of years right now and things are getting thicker.
You would wonder why I am still stuck on the same spot
considering I have read; Rich dad poor dad, Become a Better
you, Think Big, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People and
Make Stress Work for You. Well that isn’t the entire truth but I
have read the first few pages of all of them, still the same thing.
I do consider myself educated when it comes to succeeding in
life.
Education is the key to all problems. When you read too much,
you become socially awkward, when you read too little you still
become socially awkward. Either way you get problems and the
fact that we are social beings just makes it even more
confusing. It’s either your teeth or your tongue, you choose. As
for me and my dream career that would have more vacations
than work, we are yet to find each other.
Waithererodaisy@gmail.com